Duck Pin Bowling

So what do you do on a Monday night when you're already disappointed in "The Bachelor" for taking 3 different girls to the fantasy suite and you want to go out but you're on a limited budget? You go duck pin bowling, of course! We drove less than a mile down the road to a hole in the wall bowling alley and it was hoppin! (Actually, I'd never seen so many white people in one place in that shopping center before so i guess it's a cultural thing.) We took our place in the last lane open in the whole place, lane 26. This place was old school, and i don't just mean the age of the bowlers. You kept your own scores on a score card that you could put up on the overhead projector in your lane, and you had to push a button to reset your pins after every frame you bowled. I'm not even good at regular bowling and neither of us had ever played this shrunken version before, so we elected not to display our scores for a room full of people regulars. Maria tried to assist with a couple of rolls but decided she liked sitting in score keeper's seat and cheering wildly whether we got a strike or a gutter ball the best. She kept her own version of score for us by scrolling all over the score card. It was already 8:00 when we got there, so we just played one game before heading out, but it was one of the funnest Monday nights we've had in a long time.

A family that prays together...

My little Maria just amazes me. If you really know her, you know how entertaining she can be. It's not just the talking either. It's the facial expressions and the standout personality and just everything that is uniquely her. Well her latest behavior that has really stolen my heart is her praying. That's right. The girl, at 21 months, is quite the enthusiastic prayer.

A couple of weeks ago down at my sister's house i noticed Maria clasping her little cousin Micah's hands together. With eyes closed and much expression she led him what seemed to be a prayer. My suspicions were confirmed when i heard a loud and distinctive "Aaaaamen!" at the end.

Then a few days ago i saw in a similar pose with her stuffed Elmo doll, clasping his hands together and praying fervently. Later that same day i was doing my prenatal workout video. It ends with a head bowed butterfly stretch. I can never seem to get through a workout without Maria and Lucy close at hand, sometimes actually climbing on me or licking me, respectively. Well, when i went into this final stretch, Maria must have thought i was in deep meditation or maybe that i was distressed, so she reach out placing one hand on Lucy and one on my shoulder and prayed. I chuckled to myself, but was also moved by her sensitive spirit.

I'm surprised not so much that the girl prays, because we do that a lot, but at her charismatic style. We typically bow our heads, hold hands, and close our eyes when giving thanks before a meal. But most of time when i pray with her spontaneously through out the day it's with eyes open while doing something-- like thanking God for a beautiful day or praying for safety while driving down the road. So it surprises me that when she initiates prayer she usually closes her eyes and clasps her hands or at times even raises them-- like while singing worship songs around my parents' piano the Sunday when we were all snowed in together. And if the posture and the Maria language (or tongues of angels- we're not sure yet) don't get you, the sincerely furrowed brow and squinted eyes are sure to grab your heart and make you cling to simple days when faith and conversation with God are as natural and beautiful as a smile or song.

Our Christmas Card

Merry Christmas, everyone! Thanks for the love and encouragement we've received from your family's cards this year. We've truly cherished each and every one. I know those of you who've written have had to make the extra effort to update your address books. Even my mom has trouble keeping up with us and was asking me for our house number again. When Nate and i got married i vowed i'd never send Christmas cards because i didn't want the pressure of keeping up on everyone's locale, being funny or on time, spelling correctly or the issue of when to stop sending them when friends have grown apart. I had enjoyed writing my family's Christmas letters several years in high school and college, but my mom always gave me a deadline and was in charge of the mailing list. I thought this year i'd write a sort of virtual Christmas card so the whole cyber world would feel included. And maybe i'll print out a written copy for my uncle without a computer if it turns out nice enough.

I have been so excited during these countdown days until Christmas, more excited about the holidays than i can remember being in a long time. I've had a little kid sort of excitement. Maybe it's because Maria's old enough to be mesmerized by the lights and ornaments on the tree or because i'm pregnant or because i've needed my family more than ever this year or maybe it's just because i've simply needed the purposeful excitement of all that Christmas represents.

Somehow the little things, the traditions and such, have warmed me like a cozy fireplace. Last week Maria and i rode around with my parents and Sherry enjoying creative displays of twinkling Christmas lights in Fallston and Jarretsville. I still like blue lights the best with their cool, icy glow. Yesterday we went to my in-laws' annual open house where Jocie always makes about 25 different kinds of Christmas cookies- heaven for a pregnant woman. She had given me some of her old snowmen decorations, so a few days ago i set up a display in one of our windows. And for the first time i've gotten to have the large bulbed colored lights on our tree. (They were always white growing up.) We only managed to move one little shoebox of our Christmas ornaments here from Lancaster. I'm sure the others are still tucked away offering Christmas cheer to some corner of our old basement until we get rest of our non-vital belongings moved down. My dad's church gave us tree following their foster care dinner. The tree took the brunt of a cold and windy ride home on the roof of our station wagon (which now only produces lukewarm heat.) As a result we've had to trim it down several times and it's lost a couple feet of girth and stature and of course needles... but i really love it! We still don't have a dining room table and chairs, so it's unlikely we'll be having anyone over to see the snowmen or very "Charlie Brown" looking Christmas tree, but it's nice just for us. Speaking of, we watched "A Charlie Brown's Christmas" with Marinut, and she was enthralled- especially with any parts that included Snoopy. Our refrigerator's broken right now so we've had the old fashion fun of imagining what it was like when our great grandparents might have stored their juice and milk outside in the winter. I made a great Pandora Christmas station with Harry Connick Jr., Fred Hammond, Bing Crosby, Amy Grant, Andrea Borcelli, and Mariah Carey... and they did a great job. (Another Noel idea.) It's funny, because i really only ever listened before to Christmas music at the mall or while decorating my parents tree. This year i've just craved it. I enjoyed wrapping our few presents a couple of days ago rather than at midnight on Christmas Eve as has been my habit. We're really scaling down this year as i'm sure many people are, and i'm glad for that too. In the past we've saved up since the end of summer cuz Nate loves exchanging lots of gifts, but this year that just wasn't an option. In some ways it will make Christmas morning full of surprise to see which item on our wish list might have been thoughtfully purchased.

I'm so looking forward the days ahead of blueberry and lemon poppy seed muffins at mom and dad's, the Christmas Eve service at Harford Community Church (harfordcommunity.org), Nowegian traditions and caroling around the tree with mom's family, taking a trip up to Grandmom's, the Kitchin's Christmas Eve party, meeting up with everyone at Nathan's parents', and Noel delightfully mixing up all our plans somewhere in there by birthing my new little nephew, their second boy, to be called Malikia (did i spell it your way, guys?) I can't wait! I just love being an aunt!

So with all fun traditions in this season where the wonder of childhood springs up all over again, we can just imagine the joyful anticipation in the heavens as the Lord of Host made his way into the nativity scene. I remember a clever movie Jeremy and Jim made last year in December where Jim walked around Lancaster city with a sandwich board sign that read something like "Are you ready? Jesus is Coming!" As you've been preparing for the food, the family, the church programs and the presents, how have you prepared the way for Jesus in your lives this year?

With so many challenges this year, are strongest allies have been truth, hard work, family, and prayer. We often question where God's taking us right now in this time of life. I'll admit there've been times when the daily grind of trying to make ends meet has felt a little less than the fulfilling throws of full time ministry. But i'm trying to stop asking God what's next and just get busy preparing the way for Jesus to live and move and inspire in our daily lives. Our baby step is getting baggies of cookies and a Christmas note together to hand deliver to our neighbors. Remember this season, as we've remembering too, God knows what He's doing, and He can use you and grow you no matter what your circumstances.

From our home to yours, Merry Christmas!
Love, Nathan, Katie, Maria, baby-boo, and Lucy Goosey (Boy, this house is getting full!)

More Doritos Please

My uncle Chris is working on this commercial for Doritos' competition for their Superbowl spot. He told me about it this weekend when we were visiting for Thanksgiving. If he gets in the top 6 then you can vote for him on the Doritos' website for the win. I know this sort of thing sounds like a stretch, but you haven't met my uncle. He's seriously creative and a very capable producer. Last year he and his filming partner Jeff won a commercial competition for Jim Beam. www.jimbeam.com (Can be viewed under "The Remake Contest," "The Finalists," and "Ant Party.") They're going with the same ant party theme for the Superbowl spot.

This competition has impacted me profoundly. Every since he told me about it, all i want to do is eat Doritos. I finally bought a bag yesterday and i'm embarassed to say it's almost gone. If this baby ends up looking like an orange triangle, i take full responsibility. Although, if things worked like that, Maria would have been born a salt and vinegar chip. I'm still nauseous and getting sick daily, so if there's something that works, i'm going with it. Other recent cravings include sugar cookie dough and avocados (not together- don't worry), and i've discovered sour candy to be a cough drop for nausea- it doesn't take it away, but it still somehow helps.

Date Night

My parents blessed us yesterday with a much needed date night, the first in many months. They took Maria for a couple of hours and we hit up the movies. We've been wanting to see This Is It, the Michael Jackson documentary of his would-be final tour in London just before his death this fall... and wow, what a film.

To anyone who enjoys art, production, creativity, dance, theatrics, or is even the slightest Michael Jackson fan, this movie is a fascinating must see. It's hard to believe after watching the whole production this group of creative masterminds had planned that the tour never even happened. The film sparked great conversation on the drive home. I found myself wondering where has the storyline and the theatrical component gone from pop music? Surely no one has matched Michael Jackson's likeness. People have many opinions on MJ from compassion for his missed childhood to disdain for his signature crotch grabbing dance moves, but this movie points to two traits that about which we can all agree: He was a true star, a talent among talents. And he was undoubted an eccentric.

We found ourselves dancing our way out of the theater (which is always a hoot with Nate- if you've seen him in action you know), and i was literally dreaming last night in music and color. Even now i'm hearing the unmistakable bass line of "Smooth Criminal" in my head.

Yes, we are expecting! (Are you offended?)

Some of you clever folks caught my one-liner, and yes, i am pregnant. The timing sure is interesting, but a new little life is a truly wonderful blessing in any circumstance. I've been quite sick just like last time. Pretty much as soon as i recovered from the pig virus (H1N1), the nausea set in. And then the throwing up. Two nights ago i just couldn't keep anything down- even liquids- so Nate took me into the hospital for an IV. It took 3 nurses and 5 tries to actually get the IV in. But they upped the Zofran to 8mg twice a day, which really has made a difference. I only threw up once yesterday and once today rather than all day like before. I think i'm about 8 weeks right now. We were going to wait to tell people, but Nate kept slipping, and i figure i'm sick enough that it's the real deal. (: Part of what's really adding to the nausea is that i have a supper heightened sense of smell. I can't walk by the trash can, change a messy diaper, or do any type of food prep or clean up without gagging or worse. Nate's really stepped it up, but he's not really into the cooking thing, so there's lots of snacking and canned soup eating going on. So... have us over for dinner! We could use a healthy home cooked meal.

We'll let me specify. Have us over if you like us and want to cook for us. I'm not up for going into the lion's den and some unkind words have found their way right back to us. Here's what i think would make things better. Take the biblical route. If you have an offense with someone, go directly to them. It says in Proverbs, words of gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to a man's inmost parts. And if you decide you can overlook the offense, great. Proverbs says it's honorable to do so. But don't then go and share your grief with another person. The Bible gives you two options, you can bring the offense to the person who offended you (so you can reconcile) or you can give it to God and move on. So i ask you to do the same. See when you bring the offense to the person directly, you open the door for finding the truth, correcting misunderstandings and for repentance and forgiveness. I wonder what stops people from doing this. And i have to ask myself, what has stopped me from doing this. At times it could have been the uncomfortable feeling in my stomach that comes from confrontation. But mostly, i think it's our pride that holds us back from going to a person directly when we've been offended. It takes admitting that we might also have been wrong and have something to own up to...that we might have misinterpreted something...that we might have bought into someone else's lie. And ultimately it takes humility enough to let go of negative feelings you have towards someone and to admit they might not have been justified in the first place.

To address a real life example, if any of you are upset that i haven't been in touch, consider my predicament. I've heard feedback that some people would rather us just move on, and then other people want me to call them. There are some people that i really only hung out with when we were at the same event and others who it's just hard to get stay as connected with given the distance. Plus, I don't know who's been part of spreading lies or allowing others to spread lies. I don't know a lot of things. It's been confusing and painful and hard to know where to turn. Not to mention, i've been pretty sick for the last 4 weeks between H1N1 and pregnancy. And to tell you the truth, i'm not really a phone person. I talk on the phone to a few college friends and that's about it. And even with them we have an awesome no obligation "haven't heard from you in 6 months but still love you and you can still barrow my stuff" policy. I think you get to a point in life where that's really the only kind of friends you have the energy for anymore-- Honest friendships where there's love and leeway.

I had a friend a while back who used to have have her husband ask my husband if i was mad at her. My first thought was, "well i wasn't before, but i am now." How annoying. At first i tried the higher road of letting it go and giving it to God. Then out of the blue it happened again. I was truly annoyed, and there was no shaking it... so i had no choice but to talk to her directly. It was uncomfortable, yes, but for perhaps the first time our relationship was upfront and real and grown up. I told her if i were mad at her (which is pretty uncommon for me anyway, so no need to be paranoid) i would talk to her about it, and no more of this talking through our husbands drama! Geez!

So if you find yourself irritated that i haven't called you since all of this mess, please just give me the benefit of a doubt. Ask yourself, did we ever even used to talk on the phone regularly? (because knowing me, we probably didn't, so why get offended by that now) And have you tried contacting me lately? If you want to talk to me, rather than complaining that it's not happening, just do it! I'd love to talk you, especially in person, because i'm best at personal face to face friendships. And if you have an offense, i'd rather work it out than hear about it from someone else. Because otherwise, aren't we really just in high school again with the "he said" "she said" and "did you hear what i heard about so-in-so?"

Oh, and PS. that reminds me, Nathan was never fired before, and we're on good terms with all of the churches he's been a part of or served with before. In fact we've spend the last few Sundays at our Dad's churches and he was even hired to teach Bible classes at NCCC last month... so let's just end that rumor here. Please ask us if you want to know more or call Harford Community Church or New Covenant Community Church to get your facts straight. WE'VE GOT NOTHING TO HIDE!

Smearing a man's name is stealing- stealing a reputation- taking something which belonged to someone else. Remember the 10 Commandments? Boy, i think we could use that series all over again right now. Can i get an "Amen"? Where are you, my Christ-following, feeding the hungry, caring for the needy, reconciling relationships, testifying to the truth, brothers and sisters?

I love that poetic line quoted in Dangerous Minds:
"You've got to rage against the dying of the light"

Take away: Either let go of an offense, or go directly to the person. Don't use prayer, or conversation with a "trusted" friend as an excuse to air dirty laundry. Gossip spreads and hurts.

It's not so bad...

I was just catching up with my girl friend Nikki, my roommate from Semester at Sea. I gave her the skinny on the last couple of month. I thought i was just sharing the basics, but her reaction was "oh, i'm so sorry." I thought i had kept the descriptions pretty upbeat, but seeing the circumstances in a list- being unemployed, pregnant, car-less, moving to Baltimore- i guess it does look like tough times. I told her though, it's still life. Some things have been hard, but the day to day doesn't feel so bad. I still have special moments with Nathan and Maria, i still worship a God who wants to hear from me. It's still life, you know? I think one of the true daily challenges is questioning our calling and purpose. I have no doubts that it will unfold in God's way, His time, but it's hard when you just feel like you're trying to make it, and not much else. It's lonely too some times, not having the transportation nor the church family i'm used to.

Thanks to Dawn and Megan and others who sent me words of encouragement during during the flu. I'm on the up and up and Maria and Nate have remained pretty healthy. She did run a fever for a day and a half, but now seem back to herself with just a runny nose. Nate's been a tank and we've needed that since he's our hard worker and there are no sick days in ditch digging.

Also, if any of our helpers are out there, i just want to publicly thank you for the support. Thanks to several of you we've been able to fill our oil tanks and have heat, make our mortgage payments on time, get our car towed, drive a loner, fill up our gas tank, and most recently our parents provided us with a $200 1987 Plymouth Caravelle pimp-mobile second to none. Oh and our pantries look Y2K ready with can goods to last the whole winter. And beyond the generosity, those of you who have taken the time to ask important questions, search for the truth, and stand up for our reputations have really kept us going.